The truth will set you Free

But first, you have to be willing to look at it.

Dear reader,

After turning 35, I started a massive clean-up in my life. And I don't mean just cleaning my house. 😂

I started looking at everything. My thoughts, my decisions, the people around me, the businesses I spend my time on and especially the stories I kept telling myself. Because I've been thinking a lot lately about the difference between what is actually true and what we convince ourselves is true.

And oh my goodness... some of those stories were actually quite convenient.

You know how we can make something look so much better in our heads than it actually is? Or sometimes even worse? So I started journaling, asking myself what the facts actually were. What did someone really say? What did I actually do? And what part of the story did I create myself?

And let me tell you... that was confronting.

Especially as a founder.

Because one of the truths I had to face was where I was spending my time and energy. I've always been someone who gets incredibly excited about new ideas, businesses, adventures and opportunities. I LOVE creating things and genuinely believe freedom and joy are two of the most important things in life.

But when I looked at the facts, I realized I'd been spending much more time on things that gave me those little dopamine shots. The excitement of a new idea, another adventure, something fun in the moment. And I kept telling myself I was simply enjoying the freedom I'd worked so hard to create.

Which was true... but not the whole truth.

Because I wasn't giving BYOU the time and energy I knew it deserved.

Ouch. 😂

It's easy to feel productive when you're busy doing things that excite you. Especially as an entrepreneur, because almost everything can somehow be connected to an opportunity. But being busy doesn't necessarily mean you're building what matters most.

And BYOU isn't just another business idea to me. It stands for being fully yourself, daring to show the world who you are and helping others do the same. So shouldn't I be living those principles myself?

That realization made me shift my energy back to BYOU.

And it also made me question something we don't talk about enough in entrepreneurship. How honest are we really about our own performance? Are we waiting for the right opportunity, or avoiding a difficult decision? Do we actually need more funding, or are we using that as a reason not to start?

And are we creating companies where people feel comfortable telling us the truth?

Because imagine your team telling you a new feature looks amazing while customers are struggling to use it. You might feel great after that meeting, but what did you actually gain?

Nothing.

I would much rather hear, "Danique, this isn't working," because at least then we can do something about it. A beautiful lie might protect your feelings for a moment, but it won't help you build a better company.

And while I was reflecting on all this, I caught myself doing something I wasn't proud of either.

I realized I hadn't always been completely honest with other people lately. Sometimes I told people a version of what I was doing that I wished was true, instead of what was actually happening.

Because deep down, I knew I was spending too much time on fun and adventures instead of focusing on what I had told myself I wanted to achieve.

And rather than simply admitting that, I sometimes told a different story.

And that's wrong.

I recognized it as old behavior that I absolutely don't want in this next chapter of my life. Because one little story can so easily become a bigger one, and before you know it, you're spending energy keeping something alive that was never true in the first place.

How exhausting is that?!

So if you catch yourself doing this, stop it while it's still small. Correct what you said. It might be uncomfortable, but imagine how much freedom comes from not having to remember which version of a story you told someone.

Would I rather hear a painful truth or a beautiful lie?

The painful truth. Always.

Will I sometimes cry or have a terrible day because of it? Probably. 😂 But at least I know what I'm dealing with.

My mother used to tell me I was terrible at receiving criticism. And honestly, she wasn't completely wrong. But studying therapy forced me to confront my own behavior and beliefs, and those moments helped me grow enormously as a person, therapist, friend and entrepreneur.

I don't think you become a stronger leader by always being right. You become stronger by being willing to discover where you're wrong.

And then there's sugarcoating.

Ohhh, we're all familiar with that one. 😂

Of course, diplomacy is important in business. But do you ever catch yourself changing the truth depending on who you're speaking to? Your colleagues, your friends, your partner or your family?

We all have different sides of ourselves, and I believe every part is allowed to exist. But there's a difference between changing how you communicate and changing the truth.

And as a founder, that's something I take seriously. If I want my team to be honest about what's working and what isn't, I need to make sure they feel safe enough to tell me. Even when I don't like what I'm hearing.

Which brings me back to my clean-up.

The biggest thing honesty has given me lately is a stronger understanding of my boundaries. Not only with other people, but with myself. Where do I want my time to go? What behavior am I no longer accepting? What am I allowing into my life?

I sometimes think of boundaries like the borders of a country. You protect what matters within them, while being conscious of what you allow in. And for me, setting those boundaries has created more self-respect and a much clearer direction for BYOU.

Because the truth doesn't always feel good. Sometimes it means admitting you've been avoiding something, apologizing or changing a habit you've had for years.

But once you stop fighting what's actually true, you can finally do something about it.

And that's where the freedom begins.

So maybe there's something in your own life or business you've been avoiding looking at. I really encourage you to grab your journal and ask yourself:

What do I know for a fact, and what is just a story I've created around it?

Because that's the kind of founder I want to be, and the kind of company I want BYOU to become. A place where honesty isn't just something we talk about, but something we actually practice.

The truth doesn't always make your life easier. But it makes your life yours.

See you in the next Founder Letter,

Danique ❤️